I Apologize


I am remorseful, because of all the things I’ve said,

the things I meant

the things I thought

the things I forgot

the things I’ve done

the things I’ve yet to be committed

the things I’ve caused

the things I’ve made you say

the things I’ve made others say

the things I seem

…..

Rueful for all the things, I didn’t say

the things I didn’t do

the things I didn’t ask

the things I didn’t act on

the things I didn’t give

the things I didn’t take

the things I didn’t express

the things I didn’t correct

the things I didn’t portray

the things I didn’t see

….

To apologize is offer an excuse,

an explanation for the lack of harmony.

But what is it when internal discord to blame.

How does my mind offer an excuse to my heart?

How would the heart begin to hear the mind?

The languages they speak are not of the same root,

to parlay is futile like the rock speaking to the sky

or the bird to the fish.

But just as they, my heart and mind co-exist in this frame

a work of flesh, chemicals, spirit;

a heap of states of being all coinciding in one instant.

With a purpose not quite defined nor a path quite illuminated.

So I apologize to myself, but I will not begin to explicate my journey,

I will not question the decisions made, only reflect on the past

You & I must let it go…….

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